I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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