If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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