Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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