What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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