i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
