just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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