He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
operation harelip BJ is a go
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
