but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
