I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
