I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
