How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
