My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
