oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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