If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My liver just had a heart attack.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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