Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
