would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
