tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He has the fingertips of a God
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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