is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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