Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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