I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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