I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
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Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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