I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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