The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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