Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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