Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize