But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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