I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Holy shit dude........stairs
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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