things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
