oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
