Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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