when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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