I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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