she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
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you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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