dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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