I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
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We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
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We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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