in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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