I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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