i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize