My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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