WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
