Slut skills are useful in every country.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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