he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize