Only a mothe r could love this liver
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize