Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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