Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
