I'm pants shitting drunk right now
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I have post one night stand depression
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