Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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