that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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