Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
