Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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