why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
