Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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