I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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